sparks
Gosh I have not blogged in forever,
Which is bad… because I am an external processor.
So here it goes.
I am engaged to marry a man. And from what I have observed about the expectations we all have is that the bride should to be jumping for joy, sparks flying out of her ears, floating around on clouds… etc.. but the truth is.. that is not true. It’s some sort of fantasy or allusion. The truth is, for everyone, single or not, that sparks only come out of our ears when we encounter the Lord. Nothing else. And I feel as though the Lord is teaching me this in a deep way because all I have ever wanted is to marry a great man that loves me like crazy.. and I am doing that.. but none of it has been fulfilling. The truth is that nothing on creation has been able to satisfy me even since I first met Him. My apatite for Him is unquenchable on this side of things because HE is the only thing that really truly can satisfy me.
So my Father has me in a season where literally nothing brings me joy, including: food, fashion, entertainment, family, friends, fiancé, attention, praises, caffeine, comfort, achievement, etc… get it.. literally nothing.
That sounds depressing. But, I am so unbelievably thankful for this because if I settled for created things I would miss out on TRUE SPARKS, marvelous INCREDIBLE sparks. It is by His grace that I am in this season and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The main emotion I feel is stress (begging God to force my heart to submit that to Him). And every few days I burst into humble tears because I am in awe of the gift God has given me in my Fiancé and community and the grace that He has granted me to need Him so much to love them.
So, if you are single, married, engaged and feeling the emptiness of your circumstances, you are not empty because of where you are at, you are empty because your Father is jealous over your heart and HE is graciously wooing you back to Himself. Oh, and because the things of this earth really ARE empty. The best most loving thing HE could ever do, apart from Christ, is break your idols over “mirage sparks” and give you real ones.
And that is just the TRUTH.
